Posted by ClearSkies on May 18, 2006, at 8:21:51
In reply to Well finally., posted by TexasChic on May 17, 2006, at 19:27:10
I hope that your problems with BG are resolved. I identify so strongly with your experiences at work; my heart goes out to you. It seems like when I've given my "all" to a job, that my emotions have become hopelessly entangled in my efforts to do the best that I can. Separating my emotions - and the sincere wish that Everyone like to work with me - alsways seemed to come down to my pulling myself back from the job as a whole. It hasn't really accomplished what I've wanted it do.
Going to HR and making a formal complaint is a great step. It validates your feelings, in that someone else has done the same thing; and it lets you release some of the hurt you've felt. I really applaud you for doing it.
It might not make a difference in how she (BG) behaves. When I went through a similar experience, the improved behaviour lasted a couple of weeks, and then degenerated back into what I'd known and loathed.
Ultimately, I left that particular job for another, unrelated reason (I got the job that took me to the next step in my work.) I saw my BG in a market a year later, and felt the same dread grip me when I laid eyes on her. I screwed up my courage and said hello, do you remember me?
She said she'd left the company within weeks of my leaving, due to too much job stress and her personal issues. And that she knew that she'd been a horrible person to try to work with, and wished that she could have been nicer, but she hated her job so much, it spilled over in how she dealt with her coworkers.
It really opened up my eyes to the fact that many times, what we experience as difficulties with other people, are not due to us at all. And that many times it's that other person's problems that are being reflected in how they relate to us. This happened to me when I was fairly young (22 years old); but I've learned the same lesson over and over in places I've worked.So I just want to say that I'm impressed with what you've done. And to keep in mind that it's a reminder that this is probably not about you at all, but about BG and her problems.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:635629
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060513/msgs/645425.html