Posted by alesta on March 24, 2006, at 14:21:23
In reply to letting it all hang out...*****TRIGGER*****, posted by alesta on March 22, 2006, at 10:29:58
omg, there have been some major new developments in my life since that last post..my bf and I have had a talk and..well, there are some serious changes happening with us. we both had issues we were dealing with, and now, amazingly we are doing well. he does love me, I now realize (and he now says he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.) i am just amazed at all the changes that just keep happening, internally, and now, externally. we have both changed a lot, progressively, and especially in the last few days.
i am also surprised that there are past events that were still stowed away in my head...i am the type of person that believes in addressing and purging oneself of bad thoughts and memories. but I somehow managed to keep ‘forgetting’ some of these incidents that happened, unconsciously. so...I plan to talk about them when I am ready. so important, as most of us here know..:) i want to thank the person who emailed me about this whole issue of denial, publicly...your being there at my moment of desperation was...just beautiful and..so appreciated..wanted to send my thoughts of love to you.
on a bad note, i was/am starting to develop feelings for this online dude, letting it happen b/c I did not believe I was loved in my relationship. it is so hard for me to let go of this person. but the unrivaled passion I am capable of feeling for him will not lead my life in a good direction...it has to happen. i have a feeling if I ever saw him I would still be tempted to give him a kiss...hmm...i need to work on this.
also, I realize on this site, I have been a bit of a ‘floater’...by that, I mean that i kind of jump around to lots of different ppl socially..don’t really get close to anyone, except on rare occasions. I think I might like to change that, too. and I need to stop being self-destructive...must love meself too..and realize that all the petty social stuff that goes on here or elsewhere need not affect me or be about me. and..no one’s perfect, including me of course, and that’s okay. We’re all okay.:) we really are. This means YOU.:)
Thank you guys so much for replying, and, damos, bless your sweet heart, i need more time so that i can read your whole post and reply...i am very interested in what you had to say..and you have so much compassion within yourself..bless you. thank you thank you!
always,:)
amy
“together we stand...divided we fall.."
poster:alesta
thread:623328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060324/msgs/624197.html