Posted by Larry Hoover on December 29, 2005, at 22:59:57
In reply to Re: Am i the only one who has done this ?, posted by bird in the sky on December 29, 2005, at 22:04:47
> Lar said:
> > If I understand you correctly, you misdirect energy that could have gone into this behaviour? I'm sorry if anything I have said has led you to believe that I think that it is reasonable or (I struggle with what word is best) acceptable to continue to do this, without all parties being totally aware of just what is going on.> No you haven't led me to believe it is ok. In fact you have been quite understanding yet firm in how and why you think it's wrong. I guess i agree, i usually am a very value-oriented person.
> I guess i was trying to rationalize and try to see if you guys think it was in any way acceptable.Phewww! It's hard to walk that line, at least so both parties see that walk for what was intended. Thanks for acknowledging that.
> I am glad that noone knows i do this (that knows me), except my therapist. I guess if i were busted i would say i was crying on the phone.
>
> Yes, I misdirect energy that gets built up when i don't do this. That's what i think is going on.Would it be fair to say that you haven't yet found a release of this energy that is both safe and respectful of others?
Do you notice the difference in phrasing that I use? I think it tends to focus one's subconscious mind on the targets: safe and respectful. It's a self-guiding procedure.
> who are you anyway, a psychologist? I thought this was a board of peers.
I'm definitely a peer.
> what would you feel or think if you knew what was going on, and you had an idea who it was? (compassion, desire to "help") what if you had no idea who it was, (anger? nothing, frustration)
> wow, i don't want to evoke any of these in the listeners except maybe compassion. i dont know. i wish i knew what people would think. Larry or anyone?It would be a challenge for me, in any relationship, that wasn't already close and trusting. I wouldn't start with compassion, I don't think, in any other situation.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:592909
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051225/msgs/593298.html