Posted by TexasChic on December 25, 2005, at 20:55:55
In reply to I don't know how not to feel bad about myself, posted by Angela2 on December 24, 2005, at 20:00:32
One thing I've discovered on the road to recovery of being a 'people pleaser' is that you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to. Its REALLY hard to get that because you feel obligated to people (esp. family). I'm by no means completely reformed or anything, but I can at least kind of see when I'm being manipulated into doing something for someone because I'm too nice to say no. I've had a few experiences where I put myself first in spite of how wrong it felt to me and how bad people made me feel. It can be quite an enlightening experience. Once you do it the first time, it gets easier. You don't want to think of people as manipulating, but its usually not a conscious thing on their part. They just know how to get what they want out of you. The bottom line is, if a situation is making you feel bad, leave. Who cares if they get all full of righteous indignation. Just think to yourself, I don't have to do anything I don't want to. If they have a problem with it, oh well. If they want to see me, they can treat me with respect. And that is not asking alot (even though it may seem like it). Okay, you got me on a soapbox, this just really hits close to home.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:591979
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051225/msgs/592151.html