Posted by alexandra_k on June 24, 2005, at 9:13:11
In reply to Re: I don't feel connected anymore :-( » alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on June 23, 2005, at 23:35:17
> For me it also has to do with a sense of time I think...
> I quickly forget the presence of someone when they go away for a short period of time. It is almost like they don't exist anymore. Sometimes it is very hard for me to think how others are thinking.
Yeah. Thats part of object constancy. When we are little there is a time when we think that objects vanish when they are hidden behind something or taken out of our sight. When we get a little older we realise that even though it is out of sight it still exists and we will look for it. There is object constancy for people too. The thought is that we can learn to internalise other people to kind of have part of them inside us even when they are gone. Sometimes people do this with their t's when they talk to them imagining what they would say. We are particularly good at internalising all those negative signals and messages too. And coming to have a concept of a person that is based over how we have observed them over time. I have a hard time when someone is angry with me. I have a hard time seeing that they are angry with me at that moment but that that moment won't last forever and that they won't be angry with me always. Or if someone lets me down once then to think that they aren't unreliable just because of that - especially if I have known them for a while and they haven't done that before.I am quite state dependent. When I'm in one mood I have trouble remembering times or information or whatever that pertain to my being in a different mood.
Its hard...
> That will be hard for me. I'm very bad at keeping track of these things.
Yeah, me too :-)
But you have made a few friends on Babble. Babble can be hard... It can be hard to get the people behind the posting names straight because there are a lot of people. But you have gotten to know a few different people. And you will get to know more over time. And in life too. In life too.>When I need something I often expect everyone to reply...it is difficult to realize that people can still care but not reply.
Yeah. Other people have their stuff going on too. Sometimes people don't have time to reply because they have to go to work or something. Sometimes people miss threads.
> That would be very handy...to be able to comfort myself when I need it.Absolutely :-)
It is a great skill.
I'm not so very good at it.
One of my t's used to say 'be kind to yourself'.
I try to be kind to me like she was kind to me.
I don't think I really knew what kindness was until I met her. Or maybe I just never observed it properly. Not sure.
> I gotta go to bed now. I'm tired. Tomorrow should be a busy day at work...being Friday.Goodnight.
I hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Hang in there.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:517337
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050624/msgs/517978.html