Posted by 10derHeart on April 21, 2005, at 0:49:05
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » 10derHeart, posted by Damos on April 20, 2005, at 0:51:59
I think I still have a lot of doubting myself to work through. A lot. It s*cks when you realize you're having doubts about stuff you *thought* you were okay about. Especially at my age, for heaven's sake.
I know what to do. I need to print out your post, and ana's and some others from alex, gg, voce, etc., and just have them with me to read when I'm away from computer. I think that might help. It's not that I don't feel you all are *real* - I actually do. But it's that the good, encouraging things you apparently keep seeing in me slip away fast sometimes. Then IRL I can't *find* them fast enough to stop from criticizing myself.
Maybe if I get them on paper I'll believe in my heart they are true, not just in the head, which plays too many tricks...
I'll be okay, just fighting an inner battle right now. So hard to explain. May post about T. session on PBP tomorrow, and that might clarify somewhat.
((damos)) you are too nice to me. It's so amazing I'm allowed the privilege to know you. wow.
poster:10derHeart
thread:482887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050418/msgs/487306.html