Posted by used2b on April 1, 2005, at 1:26:44
It seems to be getting near the end for me. I'm not particularly depressed, but i don't have any reason to stay except idle curiousity, and the sentiments of a few people who share my DNA.
That's no reason to catch a train, but its starting to look like I just can't afford to support a human life. There's feed, clothing, housing ... usually some kind of entertainment. Even at a sustenance level, there is just no income available to me to pay for the costs of maintaining a human life in a capitalist society.
I have to be careful what I say, because some people seem to think the humane thing to do is to forcibly restrain people and force a feeding tube down their throat if they refuse to eat. There are even some who consider it noble to set up internet sites to attract people whom they can then expose for contemplating their human right to determine their own destiny.
I don't get it. It's okay for me to live on the street -- to freeze to death, to be beaten to death by other homeless transients, to be raped in prison because I couldn't afford the taxes, or to die a slow painful death as a result of some treatable disease wealthy physicians refuse to treat without regal compensation, but it's not okay for me to say "enough is enough, I can't afford the costs of living" and move on with dignity. So that means I can't say goodbye to the few who might miss me, and that I can't freely discuss the pros and cons of staying without risking being tied to a bed and force fed for decades.
Fortunately, I probably don't have to do anything other than give up the will to live and some accident or disease will do the rest soon enough. That's what a friend of mine did and it was over within a few months. Let somebody try to get a court order requiring me to want to live. Ha.
poster:used2b
thread:478418
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050330/msgs/478418.html