Posted by spiacente on January 26, 2005, at 12:13:18
I am 15, and I feel like my life is destroyed.
My story is long and complicated but I'll try to explain and please don't judge me too badly.
I was in a relationship where I wasn't treated the best and I decided I'd had enough. It was late at night when I decided to find somebody else so I couldn't go out and find someone and I went into a teen chatroom and had a look. I started talking to a girl from the same city as me and she made me feel better about myself. We stayed in contact with e-mail for a few weeks and then I asked her if she wanted to meet me at a shopping centre. We met there and as soon as I saw her I fell in love. That day was the best day of my life and was the first time in my 15 years on the planet when I had smiled without it being for show. We went out a bit more and I decided to let her meet my parents which I had never done before. She came over for dinner one night and my family liked her. After that night I didnt hear from her for almost 2 weeks even though I had been sending messages so I decided to call her. I called and no one answered. I figured that she was busy and I didn't think much of it. Another 2 weeks went by and I tried to call again. I got no answer the second time and I started to get worried, so I sent some messages asking why she wasn't answering. I waited for hours and I got no reply so I came to the conclusion that I had been left in the worst way I can imagine. I was mad and I was heart broken. I went onto a website that I knew she uses the forums of and I posted some messages saying some stuff I'm not proud of. I then sent some e-mails to her saying almost the same stuff. After I had finished I got a message from her saying she had been busy with her friend that was having family problems and she was helping her. I felt awful and so I sent a message bakk saying a friend of mine had got my password for the forums and had posted the messages and had also done the e-mails but I had sent them in a burst of angriness. She didn't believe me that much but she was still talking to me like it was ok. Her cousin started e-mailing me and she would tell me how she(my gf) was feeling so that I wouldn't make her feel worse. She told me a lot of things I didn't know and this is an e-mail she forwarded from my girlfriend to her cousin which I wasn't supposed to see.
hey, u sending ****** abuse mail? U DO KNOW THATS ILLEGAL!!!! STOP!
I cant get over what was written on ******** bout me. He says his friend did it, but I dunno. "I >dont care if it is a mistake, I've had enough of her b*llshit." That remark pissed me off.
also, he keeps trying to message and call me and I dont know what to tell him. "F*ck off, I'm still steaming?"
I'm a little ticked off at what you wrote, give me a bit of time?
Never talk to me again?
Anyway, I dont know what to do. What I'd really like, is a break from guys altogether. I dont want to toally drop being friends w/ ****** coz hes a gr8 guy, but I dont want a bf for at least a few months. I shud have had a break after dumping J.
I dont want him to think I dont want anything to do w/ him coz I think he is already a bit insecure >about how he looks (which is crazy, coz he looks fine. Not gorgeous but not an ugly git either. >Anyway, like that matters).
Plus, I DO want to keep being friends with him, and maybe one day start seeing him again. But >not right now. I dont really want to see anyone for a while.
But I dont know how to say that to him without him thinking I am totally dumping him.
Well, I think you get the idea.
SEND ME YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM, AND YOUR FOUL LANGUAGE, Lol.
Cya
Luv
****That just tore me up inside and I even went suicidal for a while. She made it seem like we were going to be fine again and I was starting to feel happy again. My birthday is in a few weeks and it looks like I'm going to be spending it alone. When I think about her I start shaking and I get a headache and I start crying. I keep breaking down and I don't know how much longer I can last. I have nobody I can talk to and I need help soon.
Please help me. If you have any questions I will try to answer
Spiacente (not real name)
poster:spiacente
thread:448120
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050123/msgs/448120.html