Posted by jujube on January 13, 2005, at 20:12:51
In reply to Re: Anybody here live like a hermit? » jujube, posted by Angel Girl on January 13, 2005, at 12:09:00
AG
Actually, my personality has always been a bit contradictory. I am, by nature, very shy, introverted and, frequently, socially fearful, especially around new people and in unfamiliar situations. I am always nervous that I am going to say something stupid or that people will find me boring, etc. It can take me quite a while to feel comfortable around new people and in a new environment. So, I typically don't initiate conversations or seek out new friendships on my own. But, I do like socializing, and am more outgoing with people I know and with whom I feel comfortable. And, I have been lucky that the people who have become my friends have usually been outgoing. Every once in a while, I try to go against my personality and be more outgoing with new people, but when I do I often end up feeling stupid and embarassed and thinking and worrying for days after that I have made a fool of myself. So, it's better to stick with what I know. Less anxiety and less beating up on myself. Like you, though, I feel most relaxed and safe in my own home.
On another note, I am the same way with my dog as you are with your cats. I feel so guilty leaving her to go out, especially if I have been working all day and only have time to come home for an hour or so to take her for walk before I go out for dinner, a concert or a hockey game. It always breaks my heart to see her little face looking so forlorn as a I leave the house.
Well, that's probably more than you needed to know about me, so I'll shut up now.
Take care.
> jujube
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> I'm obviously different than you. Other than when I was in high school, I've always pretty much been a loner, only now I've taken it to the extreme. I call my home *my comfort zone*. I feel safe here and when I am forced to go out for whatever reason, I'm always so happy to get back home. And as stupid as it may sound, my 2 cats are so used to me being at home all the time that when I go out, I feel guilty for leaving them alone.
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> AG
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> > Hi AngelGirl,
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> > I would not say that I am unhappy, but more tired and worn out (partly because of other health problems), and this kind of takes the fun out of going out and socializing. But, I like people and going out. And, I have a nice circle of friends and am close to my family, so I am on the phone all the time chatting and they also come over to visit. I just feel guilty at times these days blowing everybody off when they invite me out or go away for a weekend.
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> > There are all kinds of things you can do get out and be with people, when you are ready of course. There is volunteer work (even one day a week), clubs or special interest groups, sports, etc..
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> > Take care.
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> > > You sound unhappy when you have a prolonged need for a hermit lifestyle. I can understand that. It is certainly not for everyone. I don't have any IRL friends and my family has come to the conclusion that I do it because I want to, so therefore; there are no excuses required. Of course, they will still sometimes try to nag me out to get fresh air.
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> > > If you find something that helps you to want to go out and be with people, I would appreciate knowing what it is. That's not to say that I'm unhappy with my current status because I'm very content (at least for now). I do know however; that there will come a time when I will have no choice but to change my lifestyle. At that point, I will need all the help I can get.
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poster:jujube
thread:440017
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050106/msgs/441865.html