Posted by corafree on December 14, 2004, at 22:14:24 [reposted on December 16, 2004, at 22:17:00 | original URL]
In reply to Re: ALONE @ CHRISTMAS, posted by Emily Elizabeth on December 14, 2004, at 21:40:03
I'm so sorry Emily Elizabeth (but glad for you), but I experienced a huge trauma with my last pet. His name was Noka and he was a Siberian Husky. I went to get eggs. He used to wait across the street for my car. When he saw it he began to run to me. Instead of opening my car door, at the site of an oncoming semi, I panicked, and I can still remember the terrible 'thrush sound' and then there on the ground lie my wonderful Noka's heart, still beating. I'm so sorry. I feel very, very upset tonight. These things, they hurt. It seems like every thought hurts. My father, I hardly missed a Christmas w/ him, but he has been gone now 10 mos. He was my soulmate and I always went North to see him. A man here, I had been trusting, thinking changed, AGAIN; he is a master manipulator; showed his true colors again. Many relationships w/ men have been hurtful. My son spends Christmas eve' w/ his father, a husband who abused me after he was born, right after, (a real O.J. - such a likable guy!!!), and stupidly awaited the children growing old enough to get out. My two daughters will be with the men they are loved by/in love with. I want my Dad, I want my first love, I want my Noka, I want it all back, ... impossible. I am in a group, but there is a lot of suicidal ideation there, so cannot converse. There is a guy who seems a bit more like me, but guys get scared if you seem to want their friendship. I am still very pretty and young-looking. But then, that is what has gotten me into so much trouble w/ men. They see me, they take me on their journey which ultimately reveals a disruptive lifestyle. I trust them; I cannot not trust. And, when I love, I cannot not love. Oh, so sorry for going on on on truly, cf
poster:corafree
thread:430559
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041209/msgs/430563.html