Posted by GeishaGirl on December 1, 2004, at 8:45:14
In reply to Re: What's wrong with me??, posted by smokeymadison on November 29, 2004, at 18:08:32
Hi,
I believe that love is a feeling. And that the feeling that goes away after awhile is "I need to be attached at the hip 24 hours a day or I'll lose it." I'm glad that this feeling goes away. It would be impossible to live life :)My feeling is that if you really love someone, that the feeling never really leaves, it gets deeply buried under old anger, resentmennts and fear. And sometimes that old stuff is so deeply covering the love that it seems like it either isn't there anymore or was never there. Unfortunately, sometimes it's too hard to unbury the love.
Love and commitment are two things that go together, for me. To me, it's important that they go together. Sometimes, you can unbury the love with the commitment.
Geisha Girl
> i have only been in my current relationship for a year, but i know how you feel. sometimes when i am down or just plain agitated i can't stand my boyfriend and other times i love him to death. i just try to keep in mind that loved is a decision to stay with that person, not a feeling.
>
> now what your decision should be is much trickier. i have decided to stay with my boyfriend b/c i am more stable with him. i am not cut out for dating b/c i get way too attached way too quickly and then the relationship usually blows up. my boyfriend has been through hell with me and i know that he won't leave me. my old therapist called our relationship a need-based relationship. it still is a little. but not near as much as it used to be.
>
> i would ask yourself why you are with your husband. just b/c you don't FEEL in love doesn't mean the relationship has to or needs to end. feelings come and go. if you guys are good for each other and together can live better lives than you can apart, don't let your current feelings take over and end the relationship. i am by no means an exoert on relationships, but i truely beleive that love is not a feeling, it is a decision. hope this helps some.
>
> SM
poster:GeishaGirl
thread:421819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041122/msgs/422735.html