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walking on red hot coals

Posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39

I am walking on egg shells and red hot coals here on Psycho Babble.
I just can't seem to settle down right now.
Anger and frustration is taking hold of my emotions.
I find it way too deliciously tempting to break the rules.
I want to say things that are true, but risky on PB.

I am angry about the rules.
I guess we all go through this?

In the past I have pondered why (wonderful and interesting) people go right to the very edge and run.
it almost seemed like they couldn't contain their desire to say things that are not acceptable under the rules of PB.

I am now struggling against these hard and fast rules.

There's so much I want to say that would not be seen as supportive.
I am so angry at my country.
So...
here I am.
where do I go from here?

Most people either get blocked or take a break.
the problem is I love the people and see them as part of my life.
The other problem is I can't seem to contain myself within the tight band of SUPPORT....
SUPPORT ONLY.

It used to be so easy.
I loved this site for this limit.

But now I want to dialogue with these incredible people on this site about what I am facing and struggling with but....
I can't give it a voice.
I have to stand mute.
MUTE.

I am gagged by my own need to vent this anger and have no forum within which to do this.

I am lonely now at PB.
I roam around looking for a connection and find It's me who's not connected to myself.
In order to stay here and be myself I have to be someone else.
my god, sounds cr*zy.

As you could imagine I am quite confused.
jai the mute.


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poster:Jai Narayan thread:420261
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041122/msgs/420261.html