Posted by octopusprime on September 26, 2004, at 11:30:43
In reply to Bitch? Why not?, posted by Susan47 on September 26, 2004, at 9:56:28
well there are some situations where this kind of behaviour is adaptive and useful - at work, dealing with small children, and dogs. for example:
* "no your mom gave you that money to buy your brother a present, you may not have stickers"
* "where is product X. i need product X to do my work. how are we going to fix it."
* "what you are telling me is unrealistic. come back and talk to me when you've got something i can really work with"
* "my back hurts. i need a new chair and i don't care about the money situation"
* there's no conversation with the dog since he is deaf but i did grab him by the scruff of the neck and hold him there (which annoyed him to no end) to stop him from growling when i was brushing him. bad dog!so bad dog! bad kid! bad co-worker! bad boss! NO! stop. something is wrong, something needs fixing. say what you want assertively. that's drawing boundaries and strong adaptive behaviour. it's depressing that women get labelled for acting this way but they do.
i had a bad time at being edgy and irritable a few months ago. things that i used to take as a funny joke weren't funny any more. i felt frustrated all the time. i wanted to throw things, i did throw things (a computer mouse at a coworker when he did a misplaced attempt at humour). screaming fits when things went wrong. "sorry i pulled the plug by accident but this place is a f*cking sh*t show and if you weren't running wires all over the d*mn hallway maybe this wouldn't have happened. i don't want to hear this sh*t. don't blame me!". swearing at automated phone systems. slamming the phone down (on automated systems). and that constant dread, the fear, the feelings will be back to overwhelm me today, i don't want to get up today, i hate my job, i hate my life.
so then you get a reputation. don't f*ck with her. she's cranky. she's a b*tch. and people, rightly so, start to respect you less when you fly off the handle at little to no provocation.
this is why i say, Emme, tweak the meds. i do feel so much better since i did that. my b*tchiness is now contained in areas where it's adaptive and less where it's off the handle and not adaptive. and i do hope you continue to call your friends. i know it's hard. but people like to enjoy nice days together. maybe if the weather holds out you'll have a few in a row.
poster:octopusprime
thread:394868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040923/msgs/395271.html