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Re: Achingly, painful hurt (this is VERY long) » partlycloudy

Posted by saw on September 15, 2004, at 7:20:39

In reply to Re: Achingly, painful hurt (this is VERY long) » saw, posted by partlycloudy on September 15, 2004, at 7:03:30

Hi pc

I was able to get the medication today. So very fortunately, I didn't have a break.

I find myself relatively resistant to therapy. Not that I don't want to have any, it's just that I become so tense and agitated that nothing gets achieved. That being one reason, the other is that my medical insurance is dry and after two sessions, I had to stop. I just cannot afford it. We do not have community centres that offer free therapy and stuff like that. The standard or level of service would not be adequate anyway. I have many issues with God and the church, so that is also out of the question. I guess, one reason I joined this board and am trying to be so active, is that I am seeking therapy here. I do know that there are many here who have far worse problems than mine. Unfortunately, that doesn't take any of my pain away. I am also not saying that my problems aren't relevant or worthwhile. (Problem worthwhile?? sounds goofy)

Anyway, I just feel really horrible today. It always takes me a long time to recover from hurt like this. I am already feeling that I need to hide my "condition" from him. Well, I will, but just until this weekend is over as he needs his concentration and doesn't need added pressure from me. I think my next step after that is to wait for him to calm down, take him out for dinner, and talk this whole thing out with him. I really need him to, as you say, "get it". Even if he never understands.

Sabrina


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