Posted by crazychickuk on August 17, 2004, at 5:58:17
just can not control my mind, i am sitting o nthe sofa got my 5 yr old screaming at me telling me to f off, copying what i say i shout at her my chest hurts my hrt is pounding, i then start getting nasty thoughts i chuck the control but misses her on purpose ofcourse... but that dont frighten her, then she gets worse so i get up grab her puts her in her bedroom she screams kicks the door then opens it then messes her room up.. puts toilet roll over the bathroom, even wipes poo in on my wall and on my carpet in my bedroom..
her father dont bother and my mum isnt back till 25th august i got no one else... i am trying to play with her even though i dont feel well enough and she is like getting nasty with me so i give up... i am just leaving her to it kind of thing ignoring her but she is so getting to me.. she is up at 7 bare in mind i cant get to sleep till like 4 am.. and when she gets up she is so noisey she annoys my dogs.. they start fighting.. so i have to get up.. i not even sure i love her to be honest, i have never really bonded with her when she was born i didnt hold her till after i had my bath and was getting wheeled to the ward cus we had to hurry up as there were loads in labour same time as me.. :-( o god... i am so afraid of hurting her.. i must love her but i am af raid i dont and i am afraid that i will hurt her..
i am gonna be taking her to holiday club at the school today for 4 hrs costing £10 can only afford 1 day :-(
grrrrr sorry to rant just need advice...thanks
poster:crazychickuk
thread:378525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040811/msgs/378525.html