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Re: recovery » Cass

Posted by corafree on July 19, 2004, at 22:50:27

In reply to Re: recovery » corafree, posted by Cass on July 19, 2004, at 19:58:19

If people abandon you, your mother especially, it likens to suicide. I see that as my argument with myself about suicide, not to set a precedent that it is okay to leave them, or abandon them. It seems like their slapping my hand, instead of grabbing onto it, is just as selfish, or maybe even worse ... than suicide. There they are, happy with their new business, their closeness, their partners, and do not want to be bothered with my illness. Isn't that even more selfish? Had I the ability to help someone as they do, I would do anything to help my children or siblings. But I have nothing but illness and an occasional 'keep it all in' for the sake of one of my children. I am sooo low. It's as if they want me to die; or to realize that to me they are and will continue to play dead. I would almost feel better if they were gone somewhere, not out there just ignoring me. I'm bad tonight, but will not do anything. cf


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