Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 15:29:57
In reply to Easier said than done... » karen_kay, posted by Indie on July 15, 2004, at 14:54:20
>>If only it was as easy to love me IRL as it is to love the idea of a sassy world wandering, bourbon drinking girl!!
boy do i understand this one Indie. (btw is that as in indie film festival???)
anyway, people i meet usually perceive me as fun-loving, curious, did i mention "fun"? well, if i'm ANYTHING less than Mrs. Smiley, then their all over me "what's wrong...etc." like they even care. but i'm just so use to wearing that mask, it's second nature-and if they see even a hint of the real me they run in the other direction. It's even VERY difficult for my husband. that's why i can't turn to him for the most part right now. he want's me (expects me) to be that "happy b2c". so instead of being subjected to a million questions all ending up with "cheer up, i hate to see you sad" (which btw makes me feel Mega GUILT), i just keep the mask on.
So for the most part: there is one IRL friend that knows the Real me, and people at Babble....(thinking)...yep, that's it-not even my T knows all of me yet, i am hoping though in time he will.-so as to your not sure if coming here is best for you, that's something only you can decide. but for me, it's a place that i feel COMPLETELY accepted for who i really am, no probing questions, and unconditional acceptance, and non -judgement. I feel very comfortable here. Of course it's also very anonymous and i think that's why i'm able to talk the way i have been lately, about REAL personal issues. i'm feeling more and more comfortable.
i for one am glad you're here, bourbon drinking, depressed, hurting, or "fun-loving". no matter what your mood, i would like to see your posts here, you would be a good contribution to this community.
here's a welcome hug (((((Indie)))))
B2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:366424
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/366561.html