Posted by TexasChic on July 12, 2004, at 12:42:24
I finally got moved out this weekend. Its been a long time coming. I love my little loft! I bought violet curtains and just got as girly as I wanted. Growing up we always had hand me down funiture, always mismatched, never taken care of. For once in my life I have a place I'm proud of and would actually invite people to!
Unfortunately, the move didn't exactly go off without a hitch. (Background: I have been my Grandmother's primary caregiver for the past several years, and my Mom moved in a couple of years ago. I tried living with the two of them, but my mom is controlling and verbally abusive, and I stayed in a very bad place emotionally while living with her). Anyway, everytime I saw Grandmother this past week, she would say, "Don't go!" It was heartwrenching for me. But she understands I need to do this for me and she knows I secluded myself while living with her. I took on the life of an old lady. I told her this is what I need to do to have a real life. She said she understands but she doesn't have to like it. I can't help but feel a little like I'm deserting her.
On top of that, my mom kept trying to make me feel guilty about leaving. I tried to ignore her, but then she asked me to stay at the house 3 nights this week so she can go out of town. I told her I would still be unpacking, and I really didn't want to do that so soon after moving in. I honestly thought she wouldn't go and leave Grandmother alone, but I found out she is. I feel like she is trying to manipulate me, and thinks she can just leave whenever she wants and I'll take care of it. When I said something to her about it, she tried to turn it around by saying, "I can't believe you won't help your Grandmother out after all she's done for you." I told her that was not the point and Grandmother's care is her responsibility now.
When my mom moved in, it was against my wishes. She took over the whole household, baggered me constantly, and said she would be taking care of Grandmother now. I told her that was fine but she should have waited until I moved out. She just said, "Who do you thing you are to tell me not to move in?"
Now that I'm out, I don't know how to untangle myself from her grip. I would do anything for Grandmother, but I want to be treated with respect, and not be expected to be at my Mom's beck and call.
To top it all off, I had movers move all my heavy furniture, but still had alot of personal items in my room. While I was out, my mom took everything out of my room and piled it in the other room so she could set her bed up. In the process, she lost my retainers. I told her she would have to pay for them and she just said she didn't have the money. Then she told me I shouldn't have left them laying around (they were on my bedside table).
Anyway, I know this is long and probably doesn't make alot of sense, but I needed to vent.
poster:TexasChic
thread:365331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/365331.html