Posted by fallsfall on July 1, 2004, at 8:40:20
In reply to Re: What should she do if she wants to cut?, posted by Mrs. C on June 29, 2004, at 23:42:54
How are you doing? Are you still feeling like you want to cut? I'm so glad that you posted here the other day looking for help.
It sounds weird, but one of the best things to try when you want to SI (Self-injure) is distraction. I have found (with myself) that the intense urges sort of come and go. If I can keep from SIing during the most intense times, those times can pass and get me to more managable times. Also, sometimes the distraction reminds me of some part of life that is more positive for me.
So, how do you distract yourself? There are many, many ways! You can choose whatever way works for you. Here are some of my favorites:
1. Watch a movie (for me it needs to be a movie I haven't seen)
2. Read (anything, novels are good, or I read Psychology non-fiction (I think it makes me think that I'm doing something "constructive" towards solving my problems, even when I'm simply reading the words one at a time and not comprehending anything that is being said), it doesn't matter what you choose as long as it engages your mind a little
3. Talk to a friend. Sometimes it helps to talk about what is bothering you. Other times it is better NOT to talk about it - your friend can help you think of other things
4. Read Babble
5. Play computer games (There are a variety of different games that I play, some require thought and some are completely mechanical. Different games work better on different days)
6. Try to help someone else (no, I'm not wanting to SI right now, but I *am* avoiding thinking about something that is distressing to me) - worry about *their* problems instead of your own
7. Exercise (I find that walking the dogs gives me too much time to think and that is a bad thing. My walkman with a book on tape works here, though). Exercise raises the endorphins (happy things) in your brain.It can also help to "soothe" yourself, people also call this "taking care of" yourself. There is a whole book on this subject (which I heartily recommend): "The Woman's Comfort Book". Soothing is very individual, here are some of the things that I use and that seem popular with others I have talked to:
8. Eat ice cream (some people eat Cream of Wheat!?!). Add hot fudge during particularly bad times.
9. Swing on swings (the kind in the park with the very long chains are the best, or one with ropes hanging from a tree)
10. Color with crayons (they smell wonderful - buy a new box for the hardest times, there is something magical about the smell of crayons). Either draw a picture (no one has to ever see it, it doesn't have to be "good" - it is just for you), or color in a coloring book (my daughter gave me a big one with Teddy Bear pictures), or I like to draw random geometric shapes of all different colors (even though the shapes are random it helps me to feel like there is some order in the world, that I have some *control* over the chaos. Playing with Legos (or similar freeform construction toys) help me the same way).
11. Blow bubbles, if you do this with a child or a dog then it counts as distraction, too.
12. Play solitaire with real cards (i.e. not on the computer - shuffling cards is soothing to me) - find an easy game that you can actually win. I play a game where I flip the cards 3 at a time, when I have no more moves, then I flip them 1 at a time, when I still have no moves, if there is an empty space, I can take a card that is face down in one of the piles and put it in that space. I call this "legal cheating" - basically I have created my own version of the game that I can win almost 100% of the time, but I also have hands where I do "really well". The regular 7 pile solitaire (is it canfield?) is too hard to win to be "soothing" for me.
13. Lot of people like warm baths, often with candles around (others find baths boring, or that they provide too much time to think)
14. Music - some like it loud, some like it hypnotizing, some like words, others like instrumentals, some like to listen, others like to play the music or sing along. I choose different music depending on my mood.Other things that may help:
15. Journal. Sometimes this lets me "stick" my feelings on the paper, so they don't have to stay in my head. Sometimes I want to show the journalling to other people, sometimes it is just for me. There are times when journalling can make things worse - at those times the more you think about the thing that is bothering you the more upset you get (so don't journal if it is making you more upset).
16. Put a rubber band around your wrist and "snap" the rubber band onto your wrist - causes a sting, but no lasting damage.
17. Hold an ice cube on your body where you want to cut - again, it produces a smaller amount of "safe" pain (!?)
18. If you are very tired, take a nap (but don't lie down if that will just give you an easier place to ruminate).Geri,
Comforting and distracting yourself are very individual things. These are some things that work for me, or that I've seen have worked for other people. The idea is that you are supposed to feel (a little) better while you are doing these things and afterwards. You'll have to experiment and see what works best for you. I hope that you don't get to this point, but there have been days when my entire day has been occupied by distracting or soothing myself - and that is OK if that is what you need to do.These things get you through the immediate crisis, but you also really need to do something that will *solve* the problem (as much as it can be solved...). That is where therapy comes in. My 16 year old daughter started therapy on Tuesday - she really didn't want to go. It seemed to go OK (I was in the waiting room, of course), and I'm hoping that it will help her to be happier.
Let us know how you are doing!
poster:fallsfall
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040626/msgs/362239.html