Posted by partlycloudy on May 31, 2004, at 6:16:02
In reply to Peering into the Future..., posted by Angela2 on May 30, 2004, at 20:16:53
I'm the youngest of 4, and I always struggled with my lack of direction compared with my brothers and sister. I never had the conviction, confidence and passion for the goals they had - I was just trying to get through day by day without falling apart. I felt like a complete failure because I didn't get further education after high school apart from some courses at night. My jobs were entry level customer service positions, or sales. I stuttered and sweated before I could even approach any customers on the sales floor.
With the perspective of twenty years down the line - I'm 41 now - I can see that as successful as my siblings might have seemed, and even with all the mental and emotional problems I've been living with, I don't think I'm more or less successful than they are anymore.
We don't have to take the same path as others in our family just because it's the "right" or because we're comparing ourselves to them. It's more important to do what's right for YOU right now. Your career track is going to be completely different from anyone else's in your family. That's the way it's supposed to be. Do you know what kind of advantage you'll have over other students if you work (or volunteer) for a year before resuming your education? You'll actually have morelife experience than any of them!
I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life and time worrying and feeling disappointed about how I measured up to the others. Perhaps I'd be further along in my recovery if I hadn't been forcing this square peg into the round holes I thought I had to fit into.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Let yourself heal and develop rather than forcing yourself into something that makes so you uncomfortable. You don't have to follow the exact footpaths of others.
pc
poster:partlycloudy
thread:352224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/352308.html