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Dear diary May 25

Posted by Ilene on May 25, 2004, at 19:44:48

In reply to Dear diary May 24, posted by Ilene on May 24, 2004, at 21:16:32

This has gotten to be a boring diary, I think.

I didn't feel so perky today. Noticed the anxiety in the afternoon before I took my second Klonopin. Feeling a little more depressed; thinking about my 50th birthday tomorrow. It just seems there is no upside to getting older. I looked around at all the older women in the grocery store today, and most of them were fat and ugly, and some of them were slow and frail. None of them were attractive. Maybe it's important to me to feel attractive because I feel like so much of my life was knocked out by depression.

I also brood about my marriage. I keep thinking I should never have married my husband. It's a little late to be concerned about it now--we've been married for 19 years. I never enjoyed our sex life, for one thing.

Oh, what excitement--locked myself and my daughter out of the car. Played with a cicada while we waited. Got stuck in traffic on the way home. Didn't make dinner.

Also took my espresso machine in to be repaired. It might be gone for 3 whole weeks. What'll I do?


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/350587.html