Posted by cubic_me on May 22, 2004, at 12:34:49
In reply to I feel guilty about sar's suicide. I'm selfish, posted by PhoenixGirl on May 21, 2004, at 22:40:18
I didn't know sar that well, but it seemed that everyone helped her the best they could at the time. For some people all the help in the world isn't enough, and as hard as it seems, there is no more we can resonably do.
My closest friend killed herself 18 months ago, and guilt and 'what ifs' are with me all the time, even though I probably could have done more (be with her 24/7 etc), at the time, I did my best. I, like you was/am depressed; there is a limit to how much you can handle and how much of yourself you can give to other people without falling apart. You're not selfish. A selfish person wouldn't feel guilty.
Have you tried writing a letter adressed to sar? That really helped me when my friend died. Every time I really wanted to tell her how sorry I was to let her down, I'd write. At the begining I would do it every week or so, but now it's been several months without writing and I feel much less guilty. I feel that she, like sar, knows we tried our best.
xxx
poster:cubic_me
thread:349445
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/349650.html