Posted by lonelygirl on May 19, 2004, at 18:15:48
In reply to Re: Sandy » LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on May 18, 2004, at 18:28:06
Sandy,
I write now with the authority of someone with a B.S. degree -- hehe... B.S.... get it? -- ;). Anyway, I think my former psychologist would say that this looks like a case of "all-or-nothing thinking." It looks like you had a goal and a time frame for reaching that goal, but now that you have gotten off track from that, you sort of feel like you've completely failed and that now everything is totally hopeless. Is that sort of accurate?
Well, I hope I'm not way off base on that. It looks like that 2-year time frame was pretty important to you -- like you could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now, you feel like the light is gone (bear with me; I'm not very good at making up clever metaphors). But you should realize 2 things. First of all, just because you may have lost your dream of nursing, that doesn't mean you can't reach these goals in some other way. I know LynnDa has given you some other career-related suggestions for you to think about, and you mentioned in another post that you've been looking for other jobs, so that's a good start. Secondly, if you don't reach all of these goals in just 2 years, it doesn't mean you failed. 2 years from now, maybe you won't be off welfare yet (and all the other things you listed), but if in 2 years you have made progress towards reaching your goals in another year, that would still be great. What I'm trying to say is, just because you may not reach your goals in the exact way and the exact time frame you originally wanted, it doesn't mean that all is lost.
I also wanted to respond to something you said in another post ("I'm Sorry") about talk therapy. I was forced to go to talk therapy several times throughout my childhood, and I hated it. It didn't help, and I resented the fact that everyone was ignoring my concrete problems and basically telling me it was all just in my head -- and that everything can magically be solved just by "talking about it." But as you probably know, I was forced into talk therapy again this year, and this time was really different. My psychologist is a cognitive-behavioral therapist and he approaches everything in a very logical, rational way. If you could find someone like my former psychologist, I honestly think it would be really helpful to you. Once you sort out exactly what your problems and obstacles are, and what you are going to need to do to overcome them, maybe it will feel just a little less overwhelming.
P.S. I'm trying to find you some information on St. Vincent de Paul, because they run food banks and at least some of them do home deliveries, so you might see if they can help you since you have trouble getting transportation to the food bank.
poster:lonelygirl
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348689.html