Posted by LynneDa on May 19, 2004, at 17:07:34
In reply to Re: Sandy » LynneDa, posted by SandyWeb on May 18, 2004, at 18:28:06
Sandy - this is such a succinct, poignant, wonderfully written post. You have a way with words. I don't know why you think you're not good at explaining yourself. If only we could write our way through life (LOL)! That's how I am, my thoughts get very tangled up when I'm distressed & try to explain them out loud. Like partlycloudy said, writing things out does tend to lead to clarity.
That is such a sad story, about the cop. Being a part of that environment does change you in a certain way, you don't look at things the same way anymore.
Here's your new 2-year plan: Within 6 months you will find a decent-paying job, get your foothold there and get promoted within the following 12 months. Then, you can do the things for your kids that you want. Along the way, you'll meet many exciting and wonderful men (ok, maybe they'll just be basically nice!) who will lavish you with gifts and attention - only you won't want any of them and you'll break their hearts and move on til you find the right one.
That's what I want to see happen to you and there is no reason it can't. Those are just the basics, you can embellish as you wish! I will be here to support you however I can. You're sounding much better lately. I hope that's a good sign!
I tried to decrease my med dose the past 5 days. It wasn't a pretty sight, so back up to 20 mg I go!
Oh well, wish I could talk more, but have to go get the kiddies. Hope you have a great night!!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Me again Lynne,
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> > When dreams die you have to grieve them, that's for sure.<
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> But you know what? It's not just the loss of a dream....because remember that the "nursing" dream didn't even come into being until 1998. It's not just the loss of a dream, but the loss of:
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> *getting off Welfare in 2 more years
> *being a productive member of society in 2 more years
> *having a career that is worthwhile and I'm PROUD to be a part of in 2 more years
> *finally GIVING BACK in 2 more years
> *finally being able to introduce myself to people because I don't have to hide that I'm on Welfare
> *maybe even keep my eyes open for that special guy, someone to grow old with, because I don't have to hide anymore due to Welfare
> *being able to get my teeth fixed in 2 more years (all Welfare wants to do is pull...forget about filling or capping or even cleaning!)
> *losing those last years of my kids living at home and me being able to AFFORD them (lol!)...you know, buying them goodies and affording to have them involved with organizations and having sleepovers
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> I lost my foothold, and now I don't have a timeframe as to when I can ever stop looking down at the ground and just blending in and hiding. Like I said before, you tend to isolate yourself when on Welfare....who wants to always be asked what you do for a living?
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> It's funny that you mentioned x-ray technologists. That's what hubby did. Although he went to school for 2-years to get his degree. I can't imagine on-the-job training now. But, that doesn't interest me much anyways.....even though I did a fair share of his papers for him. Lol!!!
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> I've always had an interest in corrections and criminal justice. Go figure my job in California, huh? Lol. Did I ever tell you that I heard a cop get shot? It was at my job, and we had sent a dispatch to a garage that was broken into. For some reason, the partners split up when they arrived. This officer walked around a corner alone, came upon the 2nd bad guy unexpectedly, and the bad guy shot him almost point blank in the chest. One shot, and three screams from the cop. He had a vest on, but it's nothing like television. The 2nd bad guy tore off in a car, and I remember how silent it got. I'm not sure what his partner was doing. He had apprehended the first bad guy, and obviously heard the gunfire and his buddy screaming. Just three screams. But they were awful. One short scream when he was first hit, and then two longish screams of terror and pain. Anyways, he survived!!!! But his heart stopped twice on the way to the hospital. The bullet didn't go through the vest, but massively bruised his chest. He never really wanted to go out on calls for quite some time after that. Who can blame him? And the cops caught that bad guy. He somehow got his arm broken or dislocated (can't remember which). Official story was that he fell when being apprehended. They thought the officer was going to die. ANYWAYS, my two "angels" were talking about my old job one time, and I happened to mention that story. Then I got the darn screams stuck in my head again. Argh. Funny how we do that to ourselves.
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> Don't know how I got onto that with you. Lol.
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> I think I'll go get myself a chocolate poptart!!! Yummy!
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> Hugs,
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> Sandy
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poster:LynneDa
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348673.html