Posted by finelinebob on May 11, 2004, at 23:56:09
In reply to Advice would be appreciated!, posted by Will_Hung on May 11, 2004, at 23:25:25
Any mixed messages -- that is, what SHE can perceive of as receptive at all even if you do not intend that -- is going to sabotage any efforts you make to separate.
Two quick examples:
Your Rule 2: if its "unavoidable", you will "accept" it? No means no. If you find physical contact unacceptable, then all physical contant is unacceptable and you should be clear about this at all times. I'm not saying throw a fit if she pushes you. Be clear. Be firm. Be polite. And if she keeps pushing you like this in a social situation, then leave. Accepting her advances is NOT a good way to tell her "no". If you do so in your common social group, you are just going to confuse everyone else as well, so any flames shared behind your back will be that much more believeable.
Your Rule 8: If you do not want anything from her, do not take anything from her.
If you can get out of your contract, do it. I'm guessing you're at college -- doesn't your school's housing office have a roommate matching service? Use it! Look for someone who needs a roommate, or post something yourself saying you are looking to share a new lease with someone. And don't think you need to accept the first offer that comes along -- make sure you're stepping into a situation you can be comfortable in.
poster:finelinebob
thread:345996
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346016.html