Posted by octopusprime on April 26, 2004, at 22:00:54
In reply to Re: My friend's annoying boyfriend tootercat, posted by TexasChic on April 26, 2004, at 16:09:36
chiming in late:
texaschic, it's a good idea to talk to your friend. it has been my experience, however, that you lose the friend.
like bjork says: "i can decide what i give, but it's not up to me what i get given."
if your friend decides not to set boundaries when it comes to her boyfriend, and not to give you some attention as a friend, then you can't force her to give it to you. and it's definitely not your place to try to outwit her boyfriend (who may be controlling, i'm not questioning her analysis). that is typically an argument the female friend loses.
just be clear about what is bothering you ("i'm uncomfortable when your boyfriend interrupts/makes out with you in front of me. i miss our time together"), and what you want ("i want to spend time with you, but less time with your boyfriend. can you arrange some one-on-one time with your female friends"), then leave the ball in her court.
good luck. this is hard.
poster:octopusprime
thread:340168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040422/msgs/340384.html