Posted by fallsfall on April 16, 2004, at 18:58:06
In reply to Re: Blank » fallsfall, posted by SandyWeb on April 16, 2004, at 8:08:17
Sandy,
My name is because when I needed a new name I was living next to a waterfall. I could see it from my bedroom (and kitchen) window. I could hear it all year long. And what was so amazing to me was that the falls kept falling. The water never stopped. It slowed down in the summer a little, but in the spring there was so much water! Even when the river was frozen solid, the falls kept falling. So: falls fall. It was amazing to me.
I guess that I keep going too. I told you my little story because I wanted you to know that I understand how bleak things can be. I was sure that nothing could change that would make things better. That I would be in that much pain until I died, and I couldn't live in that much pain for long. But I postponed things for my daughter. And I'm glad that I did.
Because even though I couldn't see any way - not ANY WAY - for things to get better, they did. They got better because I took a risk (what did I have to lose, really?). At that time, I was sure that nothing could help. I think that you are feeling beaten down - and that you don't see how things could change to make life bearable. I'm trying to tell you that I felt that way, too. But things did change.
Of course, today I saw my therapist again, and try as I might I couldn't find that insight again. But I know it is there, and it will surface again. And things can change.
That's all I'm hoping that you will see - that even when it looks like nothing can help, there IS something that can help. Please look for that something. It's not going to be right in front of your eyes, or you would have seen it already. It is hiding, but probably not too hidden - look around, look for it.
Maybe your friend who wrote that letter could help you.
poster:fallsfall
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/337014.html