Posted by TexasChic on March 29, 2004, at 15:12:02
You guys gave me some good advice and insight before, so I'm coming to you again. I had this friend for 8 years who in the past year got divorced. She suddenly seemed to have no need for me in her life any more. When I confronted her (after several months had gone by this way) she told me I was too dependant on her friendship, that she was sick of being responsible for everyone elses happiness & now it was her turn. She said she didn't know when we'd ever see each other again, but she hoped we could still be friends. The emails went on for a while and got more and more hurtful until I just washed my hands of the whole thing and decided I didn't need friends like that in my life.
Well, now, a few weeks later, I wrote a mutual friend an email to see if he was mad at me too. He said she (the ex-friend) was not mad, just hurt, confused, and disappointed. So now I'm second guessing myself. She just seems so determined to believe she has done nothing wrong and I'm just being crazy or something. The thing is, I have been needy in the past, but I've worked long and hard to overcome that and become self sufficent, and she knows that! She was there encouraging me along the way. So for her to say that to me was like a slap in the face (not to mention untrue considering I hadn't seen or heard form her in several months). But on the other hand, none of the hurtful things she said seemed like anything she would ever say. So it makes me wonder if there was a comunication problem considering it was all done through email, or if she is just feeling guilty and won't admit to anyone that she is in the wrong. I had my therapist read the emails, and she said everything my ex-friend said validated what I was feeling.
So now I'm just so confused. I don't want to reopen the wounds that are just now starting to heal. I couldn't stop crying for 5 days when this first happened! But she was such a great friend for so long, I hate to lose that if it is indeed a misunderstanding.
Anyway, I know this is long so I'll stop now. Any advice would be appreciated.
poster:TexasChic
thread:329929
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329929.html