Posted by pegasus on March 16, 2004, at 23:47:13
In reply to Re: dealing with it all..., posted by inthegloaming on March 15, 2004, at 17:59:48
I'm so sorry that you're struggling with blaming yourself over the actions you took and didn't take. I think this kind of thing is so easy to second guess after the fact. The truth is, though, that when these types of things happen, we're all just winging it. No one ever teaches us how to handle unexpected and unwelcome advances when under the influence. And I think it's a big instinct for all of us to try to believe that whatever is happening to us is ok at that moment. Because otherwise, life is a scary thing. So, we minimize our own reactions, or use other defenses. So, you said, "sweatshirt on" when what you maybe would say if you could go back is "no". It's a totally normal thing to do.
I'm really glad that you talked to your friend and that she felt bad. I hope she apologized, and will think more carefully about what is consent. And I hope you're going to be ok.
((((inthegloaming))))
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:324477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040316/msgs/325138.html