Posted by inthegloaming on March 15, 2004, at 1:49:21
so. so i think i've come so far and then... all this 'work' to do.
[NOTE: there are some questions at the end of this rant, just in case you decide to skip down there...]
i'm terrified of sex. there. i said it. people know this but somehow i'm horribly ashamed to admit it. part of me thinks sex is for weak, perverted people who want others to control them or want to be in command. to me, it is completely separate from love, an almost violent act that is COMMITTED.
i don't know why i think this. i've never had reason to until just this month, when someone took advantage of me when i was drunk... but i've thought this for a long time. i constantly try and think of something that must have happened to me when i was little but nothing comes to mind... i don't know where i got these ideas or how to undo them. everybody seems to think i'm crazy when i get repulsed by the idea of sexual contact and sexual organs, etc. they tell me it's 'nice' and 'beautiful' and 'fun' and 'hot' and whatnot but i don't believe them. they talk about it so openly when i think it's something to be kept private...
has anybody gone through this? any suggestions/stories you can tell me of how you came to throw off your old ideas of sex and took on more positive ones, or what started your ideas in the first place?blah blah blah. thanks, babble-folk!
g.
poster:inthegloaming
thread:324477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/324477.html