Posted by Angielala on February 5, 2004, at 9:23:01
In reply to Learning to like yourself, posted by Penny on February 4, 2004, at 15:31:52
Penny, I want to know too. Let me tell you- I have found the love of my life and have great friends, and I STILL can't figure out how to like myself. I still fear that I never will like myself. I don't understand why other people like me so much... I wanna know how to like, maybe even love, myself too. :(
> How do you do it?
>
> As I've said before, I don't date. I've been on a handful (maybe) of dates, but, for the most part, I don't date.
>
> And I'm pretty darn close to convincing myself that maybe, just maybe, I don't even care if I date or not. Or if I ever get married. Or ever have children. And so on.
>
> But deep down, I know that's not true. Because even if I never marry (and I know it's not the end-all and be-all of life), I do want to have kids, but I don't want to have kids when I've never overcome this paralyzing fear I have of being involved with someone. Of opening up to someone. Of actually accepting that maybe (and I can't even believe I'm going to write this) someone might be (gasp) attracted to me.
>
> And I know - I KNOW - that it all boils down to the fact that I just plain don't like myself. I don't like myself now, I didn't like myself when I was 10, I didn't like myself after losing 35 lbs. I just don't like myself. And, even worse, I don't love myself either.
>
> My T claims this is changable. My former T did as well, and my pdoc seems to agree. So how, might I ask, is it changable? Because I'll be darned if I can get a straight answer from anyone. And no positive self-talk responses, please... (Actually, feel free to respond however - it's just that I don't really think repeating 'You're lovable' over and over to yourself works.)
>
> Thanks, all.
> P
poster:Angielala
thread:309396
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/309688.html