Posted by NewMom on January 15, 2004, at 18:07:11
In reply to Re: Erotic transference, posted by Angielala on January 15, 2004, at 10:18:20
It's different for me. I love my son, but after 10 years of marriage and doing anything I wanted it's different. I had a tough recovery period after my c-section. Tired and sore for a while, then spinal headaches (so painful I couldn't get out of bed) for four weeks after that. Plus, because of the ragging flu epidemic where I live, the peditrition said not to take the baby out of the house!
That being said, I'm now enjoying my son. He's "talking" a lot and smiling. He's a good sleeper and my husband is good with letting me take a nap in the early evening after he gets home. I can't wait for him to start walking and talking. There are lots of things we want to do with him, including giving him a little sister!
> That makes total sense. I wonder if that's why i insist on all female docs, so I will never have that chance to devlop a crush. Hmm.
>
> I could see how erotic tranference would relate to your OB/GYN, even though I'm so new to the subject... this is a man that helped care for you in your most sensitive stage. You can trust him with your body, and he has a strong interest in your health and your baby's health- which is something I'm sure that new moms need to feel- the love of other's for your health AND the baby's. It seems that you are going through something very normal. Don't let yourself feel guilty for those crush feelings, and don't worry about how your feelings are. After a baby your body is trying to get back to it's pre-pregnant stage and you have tons of hormones running through you. I'd guess (and this is only my own thought) that you really don't want to "be" with the doc, you are just very appreciative of his services and being a good doc- he sounds like a good doc.... let me tell you how many women would cringe if asked if they liked their OB/GYN.. haha
>
> I crush a lot... and I always find myself with this weird guilt. I let it run it's course, and of course do everything I can not to act on it... and sooner or later I realize that the person I had a crush on isn't all I thought he would be, and then the crush is ruined- I realize that I liked one aspect of the person, and only saw that one aspect until I learned more about the person.
>
> I think I'm babbling now- I'm sorry. I just understand how you feel- even if my crushes weren't on docs- quite the oppisite, I tend to crush on the guys who need a lot of help- which seems pretty close to the reasons why erotic tranference happens.
>
> What's your new baby's name???? Tell me all the joys of being a mom!
>
>
>
> > > It's probably going to make me look weird by asking but... what is erotic transference?
> > >
> > > > Can erotic transference apply to other doctors
> > > besides therpists? Like an GP or OB/GYN?
> > >
> > >
> >
> > From what I read, it's when a person has feelings of love towards their theripsts. One reason that is cited is because the patient is looking for love from his/her mother that they didn't get.
> >
> > For me that's not it. I have a huge crush on my doctor. I mean, I fantasize about this guy. He's recently single, my age, incredibly attractive, (the bluest eyes I've ever seen!) has a gentle mannerism, and is very easy-going. I'm happily married (most of the time!) with a new baby, but I can't help feeling like I'd rather be with my doctor. My last appointment with him (for the next year) was last week. In fact, we want to have another baby and I think I want to get pregnant again right away just so I can begin to regularly see him again.
> >
> > I know I just have to get over it, as it will never happen. I'm trapped in my house right now, as I can't take the baby out because of the raging flu epidemic here. Maybe when I return to work and have something else to think about, the feelings will fade. I hope so.
> >
> >
>
>
poster:NewMom
thread:300264
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/301370.html