Posted by Lyrical13 on December 26, 2003, at 1:46:04
In reply to Re: Any cutters??? Please help my 12yr old » cmcdougall, posted by kid_A on May 1, 2002, at 14:49:52
I recently found out that my little sister has been cutting. She is 14 and within the past year or so has started taking meds for depression/anxiety. I have been dealing with that for about 13 years or so (more mildly in the years before that) but I never cut. We are just realizing that I am probably BP2 and we both think (along with her doc)that she is some form of BP. She just showed me her arms about a month ago...she's right-handed and there are marks all the way up her left arm...one area where there is a carved circle with a cross in the middle. WE've talked about it, meds, docs, etc...we have weekly Sister NIght where we do dinner and hang out. I am 34 and she is technically my half-sister (same dad, different mom..Dad's 2nd marriage)
Anyway, in the course of our discussions she told me that she's been doing this since 6th grade. (now in 9th) I was floored and didn't know how I never noticed it before...we sail together on my dad's boat and so I see her almost every weekend all summer. She often wears long sleeves and pants but I've seen her in shorts and bathing suits too. A week or so ago she showed me a spot on her leg where she first cut herself in 6th grade. She tells me that it's like an addiction. She's driven to cut..it's like this urge. She hasn't done it in 6 weeks she says...right after she told me that she was diong this and also that she had to stay home from school the previous day because she was having such a rough time and that she had been walking around crying for like an hour that day, I talked to my step-mom and told her that she needed to get into the doc immediately and get her meds adjusted. ( I have told both of my younger sisters that they could always come and talk to me and I wouldn't share what they said with their anyone including parents with one exception..if they were hurting themselves or thinking of hurting themselves) She was into the doc within a few days and had her Trileptal increased and is doing better but I still worry about her. She's on that and Prozac.
I really worry because she quit going to counseling. She quit last year for a while and then this year came home earlier in the fall when she was having a very rough time and asked to talk to someone again. (she was on meds throughout thankfully) I also worry because I've read something about 80% or something of girls who cut have been abused and that it's often associated with molestation. I don't know if that's true or not. I worry that something may have happened to her and of course as big sis I want to protect her from hurt. (I know I can't really but just be there to listen) I don't know if I should ask her about this or just be available to listen any time she needs to talk and trust that if she wants to tell me anything then she will. I have a feeling (I hope I'm wrong) that it's someone we know and someone that she thinks no one would believe her. I would believe her. But I don't want to push her to talk about something she's not comfortable talking about. And She may not be one of the people that this even has happened to. I know also that abuse doesn't have to be so obvious. I know that much of what my mother has said and done over the years is abusive verbally and psychologically but it's on a very subtle sneaky level...in some ways I think that's more difficult to deal with because you're always second guessing...was it bad or not? At any rate, it's amazing that my mom did as well as she did given her history of being abused in a very obvious way in every sense of the word by her mother. I know she was trying with all her might to break the pattern.
I also know that my dad definitely fits the mold of distant critical father...and in our family there are a lot of jokes at other people's expense...and lots of ostriches. Issues don't get discussed. You try to talk to my brother or my dad and they walk out of the room. (my brother acutally said that he thought Sarah cut to get attention. Give me a break!) SO there is definite dysfunction there. (Dad is ACOA and workaholic.. step-mom has definite issues too...which brings me to the next question...Are there any really FUNCTIONAL families?)
Well, I've rambled on long enough. Thanks for listening.
Lyrical13
poster:Lyrical13
thread:22955
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031217/msgs/293461.html