Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 14, 2003, at 11:44:56
In reply to Ambien not working., posted by kara lynne on December 14, 2003, at 3:21:53
Kara,
I know how frightened and hurt you feel. I have felt that way before... not being enough of whatever it is that the other wants. I'm learning to believe that I don't have ANYTHING FOR someone else. I still try to though, and the lesson seems to be one of those that will take a long time to learn.
Fallsfall has told me that I really need to trust what my friends say about me, and to ignore what I believe to be all my faults. I guess that when we know something about ourselves isn't true, that we need to change it, and trust the opinions of those we trust and believe.
I don't know what value you place on my words, but I would like you to know that I don't think you've done anything wrong. I think you've been wronged, and have every right to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed.
It's a common survival technique that some men use, to blame the one they are hurting for the mess. That way they don't have to accept blame. If in the time spent with you, they hurt us, and we get angry, they use that anger as the cause for leaving us. They shift the blame away from themselves. The trouble is that we sometimes buy into their accusations.
You don't have to play along. You were wronged, and he is trying to manipulate you. You can hold your head up tall. You can be proud. You have been honorable. You are a very bright, intelligent and caring woman. Please take care of yourself. Treat yourself kindly. Do pleasant things for you. Allow yourself the time and effort to look good. Allow yourself the ability to be proud of who you are.
Take care,
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:289482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/289633.html