Re: I read all the signs wrong » Jai Narayan

Posted by Larry Hoover on December 11, 2003, at 11:18:21

In reply to I read all the signs wrong, posted by Jai Narayan on December 10, 2003, at 20:48:06

> Dear Larry, I am so sorry, I really had no idea you were being so put upon. I just really didn't know how much pain I was putting you through. I feel terrible. I never meant to hurt you...I feel like such a jerk.
> Sorry.
>
> Jai Narayan
Your apology is accepted. And I believe you.
I'm sorry it came to hurt feelings on both sides.
The many people who have posted have been very helpful to me....helped me see more clearly what the issues are. I couldn't have done that on my own, which was, in some respects, part of the reason it was so hard on me. I knew something was making me quite uncomfortable, and I was having a lot of trouble figuring it out.
I can key in on one thing now, and I'm hoping you see this as a constructive description. There was a disconnect, an incongruity, between your words and your actions, as I saw them. In metaphorical terms, I felt you stepping on my toes, but even as I backed off, and you acknowledged my perception, my toes were stepped on again.
I want to emphasize the point....that is how I saw things unfold.
And that leads to another thing I need to say. I'm here for reasons of my own. I don't know how I'm perceived, really. All I have are clues. I'm just another guy. I have my own demons. My own historical dramas. I strongly suspect there is something in my past which has been reactivated during this time. In a reaction of self-protection, I overtly described my boundaries....and for some reason it wasn't enough. I own my reaction, and in all that I've said, I've tried to stay in me. Not blaming. Not pointing outwards. I've tried to inform you about me, and my feelings.
If I have failed in that, to own my part, and not to assign blame, then I am sorry for that, specifically. But I am also generally sorry, genuinely sorry, that this whole thing happened this way.
Lar

Thread

I flunked internet dating kara lynne 12/6/03
...
Re: ((((Karen Kay)))) Karen_kay 12/10/03
above to ((Dinah)) (nm) Karen_kay 12/10/03
Re: Karen , thanks » Jai Narayan Karen_kay 12/10/03
Thanks good advice, I'm listening...... (nm) Jai Narayan 12/10/03
thank you I totally appreciated your input (nm) Jai Narayan 12/10/03
Re: I've been there » Jai Narayan tabitha 12/10/03
I read all the signs wrong Jai Narayan 12/10/03
Well then you do understand Jai Narayan 12/10/03
Re: Well then you do understand » Jai Narayan tabitha 12/10/03
Re: Well then you do understand Jai Narayan 12/10/03
Re: Well then you do understand » Jai Narayan fallsfall 12/11/03
therapy Jai Narayan 12/11/03
Re: I read all the signs wrong » Jai Narayan Larry Hoover 12/11/03
I am almost afraid to respond Jai Narayan 12/11/03
Glad this has been sorted out » Jai Narayan tealady 12/11/03
Re: therapy tabitha 12/11/03
Re: therapy Jai Narayan 12/12/03
never and other big words Medusa 12/12/03
well, well Medusa my, my how interesting Jai Narayan 12/12/03
Re: therapy » Jai Narayan tabitha 12/12/03
you are so cool Jai Narayan 12/12/03
Re: therapy » Jai Narayan Larry Hoover 12/14/03
Re: therapy Jai Narayan 12/14/03

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031207/msgs/288753.html