Posted by fallsfall on November 4, 2003, at 7:25:43
In reply to Re: My safety feels threatened, need advice., posted by Tabitha on November 4, 2003, at 2:37:28
Kara,
This is not my area of competence. I really don't know what works in these situations. My inclination is to hide, but that probably isn't the most effective strategy. I'm glad that you are asserting yourself because otherwise I think that you would feel even more victimized.
Years ago my husband and I bought a house on an acre of land at the end of a dead end street in a very tiny town. It even had a small horse barn in the back (not that I had a horse, but that gives you more of an idea of the kind of area it was). We lived there for 5 years, my 2nd and 3rd kids were born there. The neighbors became a problem. They had 3 boys - not too different in age from my 3 kids. The father would be in the backyard swearing loudly at his kids. He swore more in one day than I do in a year. He also hit his kids frequently. We were never friendly with them, though I did speak to the mother a couple of times when he had moved out for a month or two.
It got so bad that my husband called Social Services and they came out to investigate the family. In the meantime, my oldest (who was 3 or 4 at the time) was afraid to go outside to play in our backyard because she was afraid of the father. I went on the business trip from hell and when I came back 3 weeks later, I find that the neighbor had called Social Services on MY family saying that we left the kids alone (they had a babysitter, it was a teenage boy who lived up the street), and that there were "inappropriate" things going on between my husband and the teen babysitter. Social Services found nothing wrong at my house. But at this point, my husband started being afraid to go outside, too (and he's 6' 3" tall!).
Did I mention that the neighbor was a Heroin addict? Or that he kept a loaded gun in his house?
When my job started to fall apart after the business trip from hell, I started looking for a new job. An advantage for the new job would be if I had to move because it was too far away, then my new company would help with my moving expenses. It all worked out and we moved about 2 hours north. I felt so guilty selling my house to a couple who were due to have a baby. We didn't tell them about the neighbors.
Moving took a real strain off of my family.
You have so much going on right now, Kara. You may need to decide where you are going to put your energies. Do you want to confront you dad, or write your resume, or move or fight your neighbors? I guess of those choices that fighting your neighbors probably has the least chance of success, and the smallest payback in the long run (you are not planning on living there very long anyway). Others may (hopefully) have better ideas on dealing with them that don't consume large amounts of energy. I think your avoidance strategies (like parking on the street) are pretty smart.
This is a tough one. Please be careful.
poster:fallsfall
thread:276370
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/276402.html