Posted by madwand on October 6, 2003, at 14:34:08
In reply to Re: Cut the cra*! » madwand, posted by Chicklet on October 6, 2003, at 13:35:09
Karen,
I guess we will just have to "agree to disagree" on this. However, as for the "I was there -- you weren't" concept (I was wondering if/when someone would play that card <g>), while that does have some merit it really is not as big of a factor in a "virtual" environment as in a face-to-face one. Why? Because in a face-to-face environment one is constrainted to experience everything linearly, in "real time". And there is a great experiental "distance" between the process of living through something and the process of examining it vicariously/historically. In an "online" environment, where the process of viewing a sequence of events after the fact is extremely similar to process of experiencing it as it happens, that "distance" is dramatically decreased (BTW, while I am relatively new to this board I am not new to online environments and their nuances). Before I responded to any of this I made a point of going back to the archives, finding out who "Krissy" was (from some of her "pre-incident" posts) and what the @#%% had happened.
Can that replace "actually living through it"? No, of course not. And had the sentiment of those who had "been there" been universally of one mind I might have reconsidered my reaction. But that has not been the case. In addition, when someone *does* change, having lived through their "pre-change"
self can be a disadvantage, in that it is too easy to see the past rather than present (As an example, I have met some beautifully spiritual people in recovery who have family/friends from before they got sober who still won't talk to them because of the past. While those folks "were there" and I wasn't, I really cannot concur that therefore they know the "real person" and I do not.
Anyway, you have made the decision regarding Kristen that works for you and I have made the one that works for me. The future will tell if one of us made the wrong choice. I am sorry for your frustration (and whatever part I played in it) -- I hope it is relieved soon.
BTW, if you feel the need to respond more strongly than allowed on the board and do not wish to "get in trouble", I can be reached at
"madwand-babble at earthlink.net. That applies to anyone else who feels the need to "set me straight" outside the bounds of civility (or to anyone who just wants to say "hi" <g>). Do include the "-babble", though, as the person who owns the plain "madwand" might become rather puzzled.
Regards,Michael
poster:madwand
thread:265889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266007.html