Posted by Sabina on October 6, 2003, at 1:08:11
In reply to Fibro stuff » Sabina, posted by BarbaraCat on October 2, 2003, at 12:04:19
BarbaraCat,
Glad to see you here on the social board. I took a break from posting for a couple of daze. I wasn't able to say anything nice, so...you get the idea. No muscle pops here, tho' junky bugs in the veins are frequent. It makes me wish I hadn't read all that Burroughs as a youth. I wish I hadn't read and heard and seen a lot of things now that they seem to come back to torture me during the darkest times.
During the tooth-achy times you described, I feel like one of Francis Bacon's screaming popes (if you don't know, you don't wanna know). Sometimes, the pain is like the throbbing pain I had in my lower legs intermittently throughout my childhood. It would frequently wake me up in the middle of the night. My mother called them "growing pains" and were completely dismissed as of no importance. I remember telling the doctor, too, but nothing was ever done. I just lay awake, alone, taking aspirin to deal with it. I guess my insomnia really started before I'd even reached puberty. Even now, there are nights and days of such pain that it frightens me. I want to go wake up my husband and tell him, but I never do. There's nothing he could do about it, and I'd just feel guilty about disturbing the sleep of the person who has to get up and earn money for us! I work from home on my own schedule, though it's not nearly what I made before. I try not to think about it, and sometimes I can't really talk about it.
I have a hard time with the way Fibro is dismissed by so many people, medical or otherwise. I’d never even *heard* of it when I was diagnosed back in '97. I thought I’d just go along with a little less energy and a little more pain than the average person...until my run-in with Depo Provera. An Ob-Gyn has since told me that, as a Fibro patient, I should have never been given Depo in the first place. All I know is the resulting hormonal surge/change/dip turned my world upside down. I think that my BPII might have continued to go undiagnosed if it hadn't been for all the extra stress brought on by a chronic illness. I’ve tried it all, I tell you. I’ve been a vegan teetotaler and a fast food beer guzzler, with a full complement of expensive supplements or not even taking a daily multivitamin. I just can't tell much of a difference, unfortunately. I did feel better when I had acupuncture, but I can no longer afford it. I used to do the mini trampoline thing; but then, at one point, I lived in a *tiny* place and mine got all rusty under a leaky deck and so I abandoned it.
Right now I’m trying to stay enthusiastic about the water exercise routine...on the days when I can actually leave the house; that is, no IBS, no migraine, no excessive Xanax use due to worry/fear. I try to go every day. It's so relaxing and pleasant that it's difficult to believe it's really exercise! I’m glad to hear about your new hot tub. I’m sure that will help, especially during the colder months. I know that the gym's sauna really makes me feel better. I always seem to sleep better after coming home all uber-toasty in my joints. Right now, I’m trying to keep my painkiller intake to a minimum but it's a bit of a struggle. Change of season times are always bad for me, especially summer into fall.
I've got some other posts to make (meds issues, etc.), but let's do keep in touch on the Fibro updates. It does help to know that i'm not alone in this strange combination of life challanges (I refuse to say disease or disorder). :) Bina
poster:Sabina
thread:262093
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265841.html