Posted by Dinah on August 12, 2003, at 2:20:10
In reply to Complaining about the ex-boyfriend, posted by Tabitha on August 11, 2003, at 22:06:07
I'm thinking your intuition is right on target. If he still has feelings for you, friendship might not be all that healthy for him. It really doesn't sound like he's up for friendship yet. And while it's great that he'll be there for you when you need him, it sounds like his neediness may drain you more than his help supplies, at a time when you need your energy yourself.
Easier said than done, I know. :( Especially if you're worried about his mental state. Does he have a therapist you can safely leave him in the hands of?
Wouldn't it be nice if after a relationship there was a convenient way to have a cooling off period? I remember once in my thirteen year courtship, I requested a six week break in the relationship to determine whether we were together out of habit or genuine feelings. We lasted out the six weeks apart, and had a long conversation afterwards. All very romantic, I'm sure. :) But when you've dated someone since you were a kid, sometimes it's nice to make sure.
poster:Dinah
thread:250141
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/250183.html