Posted by Penny on July 18, 2003, at 10:15:19
Well, it's Friday and thank goodness for that. Not that I have any big plans for the weekend or anything, but a break is always good. At least I'm not as tired all day as I have been.
Paged my pdoc last night at 9 and then again at 10 - he called me back at 11 and I told him that I was really not doing well at all and could I see him today and he's going to see me sometime this evening. He always makes time for me, which is one of the things I am so thankful for.
Therapy was emotionally charged yesterday, but I am so thankful too for my therapist. I talked a lot about suicidal thoughts and some about my grandfather and she asked me if I started to lose control could I get somewhere safe, and I told her yes, but then, after going home, started to wonder about that so I paged my pdoc. My roommate said, "What's wrong" and I said "I don't feel well" and she said "Did you not have a good therapy session?" and I told her that there is really no such thing as a good therapy session. She responded that usually I feel better after therapy and I told her that I just felt bad in general and it had nothing to do with therapy and she wanted to know what spurred it and I told her nothing spurred it, I just didn't feel good. And she asked if my meds were working and I said I supposed not and I was paging my doctor. She just doesn't get it. Just has a different perspective on things, I suppose.
Trying very hard to motivate myself to start working on my sociology course, but really really don't want to. I'd rather read and read and read about fun things, happy things. But I don't want to start a new novel until I get some of the sociology done. :-(
Met with my boss this morning and he said they're going to move me from the third floor to the first floor. I will lose my window but will be closer to the action. I see the positive and negative side of this. Perhaps it will give me more motivation to be at work on time and will enable me to get my work done more efficiently. On the downside, I WILL have to get to work on time and I will have to be more vigilant in reporting to my boss about the time that I am away from the office for therapy and doctor's visits and such.
And it may create even more stress because I won't be able to take it easy on days I am feeling less motivated. Plus, I'm wondering about my office and I think it will be smaller and I'm already crammed in the one I'm in, so not sure how they're going to do that. I have bookcases and filing cabinets that are packed full - so it will be interesting. Oh well, that part is NOT my problem.
P
poster:Penny
thread:243149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030713/msgs/243149.html