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Forsaken-Gets graphic-Beware

Posted by Miller on June 26, 2003, at 14:02:42

Has anyone every felt so defeated because it seems every person is out to hurt you in some way or another?

I feel desperately sad today. It seems I attract people (casual, close, professional, and romantic) that hurt me and hurt me as deeply as they can.

I am desperately sad. In some ways it feels as if I have made nothing but wrong decisions in my life. I don't think there is any doubt in my mind that there is little I can do to make a contribution to this world. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and all of that.

I know this sounds gross, but, I swear, I think I was meant to be aborted and somehow it didn't work. My mother had many before and after me. Maybe my fate was somehow screwed up. At least if that was true, I could at least be able to blame a reason for all of this misery.

Of course, since there would be no way to prove that, it leaves only me to blame. I think therapy has been way over-rated. I think it is a lot like giving sugar pills to a psychosamatic patient. As long as we think it should help, it does. Lose hope and what happens then?

:(

-Miller


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