Posted by yesac on June 22, 2003, at 12:45:12
In reply to Re: About waiting, posted by Snoozy on June 21, 2003, at 23:20:28
>subconsciously since then expected that I would kill myself within the next few years. I don't mean that I had a plan or anything, but more as a comfort - I'm not going to have to go on like this for a long time. I suppose in a way this makes sense as a coping mechanism. I can be feeling ok - not good, but ok. But if I think that I'm going to go on pretty much like this for another 10 years, that's just unbearably depressing. One day at a time, I guess.
Yes, I feel exactly like this. In recent years, I have at times become almost completely convinced that within a year or two I would try to kill myself and either succeed or end up in a psychiatric hospital. It comes and goes. I think that the idea of killing myself is a definite coping mechanism/comfort. I've heard of people who have some kind of plan with their therapist (or whoever) that they will not kill themselves for 3 years or something. I would NEVER want to make this kind of commitment. I strongly hesitate to even say to therapists that I won't do it within the next week - at least when I feel really suicidal - because I know that I'll have to stick to my word. But eventually I feel that I must say it or else they'll have to involuntarily hospitalize me.
poster:yesac
thread:235041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/236029.html