Posted by katia on May 27, 2003, at 17:18:37
In reply to Re: Cutting, looking for answers.... » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2003, at 16:15:21
> Well, I was painfully honest. And I think he understands pretty much. We did come up with a code word. I'm supposed to write some things down that I usually need to ask for so that I don't have to put together the thoughts at that time. He's going to try to remember to ask questions that I can answer with little more than yes or no when I tell him I'm having trouble finding words. And I'm supposed to remember to ask him if I want an extra session instead of cutting. That's a tough one, because not only is my brain disorganized, but I have a strong fear of asking for what I want but aren't sure I can have. I'm as bad as my son about hearing "no". If he even asks for what he wants, he prefaces it with fifteen minutes of "I know the answer is probably no, and maybe I shouldn't even ask". It's not that I mind not getting what I want, because you don't get it if you don't ask, either. It just hurts to hear "no". But we're going to work on that.
>
> And his biggest suggestion for when I regress to a largely preverbal level is art! He says that SI is a form of self expression for what I can't express with words. I don't know though. I am not the teensiest bit artistic or creative, and the thought of facing a blank page is a horrifying one. Flashback to huge failures in art class. :( Maybe I could just sniff the crayons, and not draw? :DMy therapist recommended having some clay on hand; so that when that wild energy hits, just start molding. I've still yet to buy the clay, but it'd probably work better for me than setting up my easel, getting the paints out, setting up the palette. nope that's too much planning in that state. but I can see just molding the heck out of some clay in that state. maybe a healthy alt. to hurting myself. and if it's there already on hand, it might help. When I was staying with a friend last year in the midst of my depression, she had an art studio just off of the bedroom and since everything was already set up, it did really help to just go in and paint. I always have expressed myself before through the years with writing, but that no longer is adequate for me. the painting really helped transform some of that energy.
poster:katia
thread:228095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/229520.html