Posted by Dinah on April 26, 2003, at 11:25:03
In reply to Re: pax........jyl » leeran, posted by fayeroe on April 26, 2003, at 9:04:21
Hi Pat,
I think I've finally gotten over the guilt of being the reason my parents didn't divorce. And my involvement was direct. I begged Daddy not to leave. I think my therapist has finally convinced me that I didn't really have the power my parents let me think I did. Somehow it fitted into their own games to let me think that. I hope you manage to shed any guilt you have about what part they gave you in their dramas and whatever you did to escape from them.
I've never experienced incest, thank god, but I do know the anger that comes from not being protected. It's hard to imagine that our adults don't do everything that they can to protect us. Even animals know to do that. How can they, like Lee's dad and to a lesser extent like my dad (and at different times my Mom) leave us to handle things on our own at a time we just weren't equipped to do it. Sometimes it leaves me with the feeling that I wasn't worth protecting, other times with the awareness that they were weak. But darn it! Weakness still means that something was more important to them than we were!
I have my family now, and that's the one that really matters to me. I'm determined not to repeat the same mistakes. I'll make a new set. But I will always, always put my son's welfare first. Of course, I know my Mom had that vow too.
poster:Dinah
thread:221860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/222566.html