Posted by Kar on April 16, 2003, at 12:22:10
In reply to Depression, meds, working, supervisor « jerrympls, posted by Dr. Bob on April 16, 2003, at 8:24:00
Jerry- my story is very similar to yours. At first my boss was understanding. I'm a speech therapist and work with kids (and families with problems) so the boss was sensitive to stuff like this. I didn't want to tell her at all at first and tried my damndest to get around it...even made up more "acceptable and understandable" excuses like bronchitis, fender bender etc. Oh yeah I was creative! But eventually it got to the point where I had to have a sit down with her. i'm so pissed still (after 2 years not working) that it's extra extra hard for us because of our illness. They say that the stigma is lessening but I don't know. And really it's a viscious circle because we keep quiet and try to hide it because we think THEY will not understand and will think less of us.
In my job I made home visits and had to repeatedly cancel. Telling parents that I wasn't coming, esp. if it had happened often, made them understandably frustrated. Sometimes my boss didn't know if I rescheduled a visit for the end of the week so that was good. I could only tread water for so long though. Like you, I was at the time in the middle of switching meds and it seemed nothing was working.
My empoyers were also willing to be flexible by letting me cut down my caseload and then I had to try Part time. but I knew that even part-time wasn't going to work because when you feel crappy, you really feel crappy. God I don't even feel as if they knew me or knew what I was capable of because I was bad the whole time. And I knew it and couldn't change it.
>medications make me extremely hungover in the morning, etc - but without giving away my whole medical history.
Well they already know about the depression right? You aren't obligated to say any more than that. You may feel that they want to know more and don't get it, but telling them even more (in my experience) isn't that great an idea. I had a boss once with whom I was very close and she knew nearly my whole history but she was someone I trusted and she understood.
SOunds to me as if you really don't have the option, with your responsibilities, to go PT? I know when I felt awful with the depression, I felt even worse knowing that i wasn't living up to my (or their) expectations. That just adds to it.
How bad are your days? I know what you wrote and I don't mean to sound shallow, but it sounds as if you do still manage, even though you're just barely keeping your head above water? i just got to a point where I could not do it anymore. It wasn't fair to me or them. But as you said, you're the one who knows this material so no one can "sub". That's a double edged sword I guess because you won't get fired but you can't take short term disability easily either.
>1) How can I call into work and explain I'm not doing well without going into detail?
I found that *I* was the one that thought they needed to know more. Like I felt like I needed to go into detail. i guess that's why I fibbed so much! Depends on your job...can you just call in and say you're "sick"? As I said earlier, you are under no obligation to say more than that. I think there are some people on the board that relly knows the laws. I was on disability but someone else can help you more.
>2) How do I deal with supervisors/manager who As someone said, write absolutely every comment down Really. I think someone said that they wouldn't give you any crap if you had cancer. The thing with me is that i really wasn't (couldn't) doing my job up to standards so if I'd been let go (even though it was due to my depression) they would've had grounds. What exactly fdo they say when you get a "no-no"? That's unacceptable. What a crock. You're gettint me fired up, Larry! :D
>depression is or how it effects mood, etc.
Depends how comfortable you are with her. When I was in school I provided my supervisor with very clear cut scientific-looking (but simple) info on depression. And she appreciated and and said she learned something. However it still really doesn't change the problem. Yes you have a reason, but regardless, you're job is being affected.4) What do I need to do to NOT feel guilty if I decide to stay home and work?
When you find out, let me know!
Do you have the opportunity to work ALL from home? Maybe you have a little more leverage because you're the important dude?Sorry so long...it's a hot topic...
Take care
Karen
poster:Kar
thread:219777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030414/msgs/219819.html