Posted by paxvox on April 4, 2003, at 21:16:35
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by mair on April 2, 2003, at 12:21:15
Mair,
Such a well-written and heart-felt remembrance of Sar. It reflects many of the problems we all have. A "key stroke away" from a thousand miles. Who really "knows" anyone here THAT well? Even those that we email separately, we try to help when we can (I thank those who talk to me, and you know who you are :} ).
But what could ANY of us have really done? I can't even help my own family members who live in my house. That's one of the things that I am trying to learn, I can't fix other people no matter how badly I want to or how hard I try. People can only "fix" themselves when they choose to be fixed. We can offer help, suggestions,motivation, support whatever. Ultimately though, we cannot live their lives or prevent their deaths.
Do we feel responsible? Sure. Do we wish we COULD have reached out and been that ONE person, who said the right words at the right time? Of course. Is it realistic to think we COULD have? No.
Is there a lesson to be learned? Probably. How many of "us" have "disappeared" from these forumns? How much do the rest of us worry? Just like a week or so ago when I asked if Susan C. was lurking about. I REALLY MISSED HER! (she said hello) We used to have some great posts here (Cam, and others, you know who you are, cause you may still be lurking here as well). The lesson I see is that we shouldn't let ourselves disappear. Sure, it's healthy to take a break sometimes, and true, some of us have issues with the administration of this board (no offense intended Dr. B.). But can't we rise above that? I have been on a least three other expat boards where there has been some effort to create an alternative where no holds are barred. Unfortunately, only a few of us participate,and most of us eventually return here, if only to lurk silently. So, why don't we use this "anniversary" of one person's passing to become the start of a truly supportive board. Call me crazy, but it wasn't all that long ago when THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DID HERE!
I don't want to read about another death (or you to read about mine). Anyone out there?
PAXVOX
poster:paxvox
thread:215328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030401/msgs/216340.html