Posted by Tabitha on December 27, 2002, at 2:47:42
In reply to Re: Not quite far enough from family. » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on December 26, 2002, at 20:05:24
> Your therapist wants you to tell him you hate him?
Well not exactly. She wants me to say things like "when you interrupt me or change the subject, it makes me think you don't care about my life", or some such therapy-speak. To my credit I did try having a real talk with him about our relationship once. He wrote me a heartfelt letter apologizing and promising to do better (not exactly what I wanted), then gradually everything reverted back to normal. It's just so hard to really change anything.
>
> The determinedly oblivious can be maddening. Make sure you hold the boundaries firm about visiting. This is your sanctuary; don't let bad feelings into it. Let them stay at a motel and meet them somewhere neutral.Argh. It's so hard. They just assume that if they make the trip out here, I'm going to be available for a week to entertain them, and put them up at my house. When my brother visited, he didn't even confirm the dates with me before making his reservation. In order to save himself some money, he decided to come in the middle of the week (expecting me to take vacation time) and to fly into the next city (expecting me to drive 2 hours to pick him up). I said no to both requests, and he complained about it for years. It really got tiring. I find it even harder to say no to dad & wife, since they're superficially nicer.
>
> He sounds like his life is too darn good for me to give my usual annoying person advice. "Aren't you glad you aren't him? Imagine being with him 24/7." But it sounds like he's happy enough.That would be a tough call, would I trade places with an oblivious yet superficially happy person? Dunno. Naw.
poster:Tabitha
thread:34007
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34060.html