Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 27, 2002, at 9:17:48
In reply to Re: sudden sadness, posted by justyourlaugh on November 26, 2002, at 12:42:43
i go through that 100 times a day-mixed with anger,and happiness.
its hard to control who i want to be when my kids get home from school.
----------------------That's what I'm worried about, to some extent. I've never experienced such a sudden feeling of sadness. It's as if someone with a remote control is sitting outside flipping my emotional channels. Usually, sadness creeps up slowly. I feel less than happy one day, and by day 100 I find myself depressed. I hate not knowing what I might feel like 3 hours from now. Really makes things hard. I'm impressed that you can manage your condition while also having a husband and children (and still perform well at GameCube). I couldn't hack it.
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You're wise to consider the sudden bouts of sadness as possible "warning" bells of a potential slide back into depression. I appreciate, so appreciate the tough battle out of the cave and know the concern about being . . . drawn back in.
-------------------------------Actually, I'm almost paranoid about possible indicators that I'm getting depressed again. It's such a weird head game. I'm always worried that whatever I say or think or listen to might jeapordize my fleeting happiness. Like I have to always think happy thoughts and avoid sad movies, etc. I'm really afraid of letting myself cry about anything since, well, that's how it started. I'm probably off base about this, but I just can't go through that again.
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Could it be holiday blues? I know this is my crazy time (relatively speaking). Enjoying Nick Drake is definitely a depression marker for me. I love his music, but when I'm above a certain level, it just sounds too depressing. I count myself lucky I've never gotten low enough to enjoy Leonard Cohen.
--------------------------------Poor Nick. He's somewhat uplifiting in his own way. Not as bad as Radiohead or Red House Painters. I think the saddest piece of music I have is the adagio from the Gayne ballet suite (it's on the 2001 movie soundtrack, played when Dave and Frank drift for months alone to Jupiter). Very beautiful, but so lonely.
As for the hoiday blues, idk. I'm actually kind of looking forward to Christmas this year (for a change). I'm not deeply depressed, and only the fun relatives will be there this year. Maybe it will even snow :)
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:32762
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021120/msgs/32782.html