Posted by GeekUKII on November 22, 2002, at 19:26:53
damn..... should of known when I came back to this board I was in trouble. hehe. first of all this is just a sounding board-- no body listens when I speack my mates are all real perfect. I am just letting this S**T out y'know. Stress of moving has got to me. Seem to have went to a BPII state again, not bad as in a hypo state now but still ;but lets be real the devils are returning and I will be waking to the vision of myself hanging above my bed, real goya style. >:)
Gonna start up with depakote on monday, why not really? anyone know the legalitys of revealing mental health probs. in UK law??
Also I been meaning to ask about domestic violence? or more anyone else seen there mother beaten the hell out of when they were young? I am having trouble remembering my past, or hell is it really important? seen as I dont know my parents anymore, but does it matter as I probably will beat the hell out of them if I see them again. >:)
But I have a feeling my dad is the basis of my trouble (either that or some priest desided I was cute, it seems to happen. That is civil; its a fact now priest like kids >:) ). Still I remember going to sleep hearing my mother scream and stuff and the thumps, and the stuff seen i dont want to repeat . Just need memory triggers as this is deep down hidden. Want to get this out as this is the problem. F**k being a victim hell if facing demons kills me then so be it, I will leave a nice note and take my dad with me (all he needs is a push)
I really dont feel bad, just kinda evil. so in summination I am kinda thinking of hearing domestic violence stories to trigger my memorysI would end this with a good quote but intelegence is superfluous (SP)
(apart form spelling)
M
poster:GeekUKII
thread:32645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021120/msgs/32645.html