Posted by bookgurl99 on November 19, 2002, at 23:01:10
My partner has been dealing with sexual abuse issues for a few months. This started around the same time we moved in together. I'm not sure if it's as a result of working on the abuse issue, but she is becoming increasingly depressed (to the point of making suicide threats), angry at me at illogical times (interprets what I say negatively), and - of course - never wants to have sex.
So far, she refuses to acknowledge or seek medical help for her enormous and growing depression. This week she has even talked about quitting her personal therapist.
Here I care about this beautiful woman, and I am watching her self-destruct. I guess there's a few issues:
1. She refuses to get help for the depression, which negatively impacts everything in her life including our relationship. Is there any way I can convince her to get medical help?
and
2. Not having sex is driving me up a wall. She gets to have sex whenever she wants to, but here I'm a lesbian and I should have been a nun after all.
Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? In other words, has anyone who is the partner of a sexual abuse survivor come to the point where they could have a normal relationship, sexual and otherwise?
Part of me wants to do an ultimatum, like "get on an SSRI or I'm moving out," but I don't feel good about that. How do you deal with this?
thanks for any support/words of advice/experiences,
bookgurl99,
a "healthy-red blooded, all-american eccentric intellectual lesbian"
poster:bookgurl99
thread:32519
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021106/msgs/32519.html